Whatif… We led with “Whatif”?

My high school commencement speech opened with a poem. 

Whatif - by Shel Silverstein

Last night, while I lay thinking here,

some Whatifs crawled inside my ear

and pranced and partied all night long

and sang their same old Whatif song:

Whatif I'm dumb in school?

Whatif they've closed the swimming pool?

Whatif I get beat up?

Whatif there's poison in my cup?

Whatif I start to cry?

Whatif I get sick and die?

Whatif I flunk that test?

Whatif green hair grows on my chest?

Whatif nobody likes me?

Whatif a bolt of lightning strikes me?

Whatif I don't grow talle?

Whatif my head starts getting smaller?

Whatif the fish won't bite?

Whatif the wind tears up my kite?

Whatif they start a war?

Whatif my parents get divorced?

Whatif the bus is late?

Whatif my teeth don't grow in straight?

Whatif I tear my pants?

Whatif I never learn to dance?

Everything seems well, and then

the nighttime Whatifs strike again!

This poem is about anxiety. Which, of course, was quite relevant given the nature of the speech’s context. The poem suggests that whatif is a function of fear, and it can get in the way from enjoying and living life. It artfully describes the ways in which many of us sift through our fears - especially when we are trying to fall asleep. It may be obvious to say I used this poem in my speech as a way to say - don’t let anxiety get in the way of you pursuing your passion. In hindsight, a bit pretentious and preachy - but such is the nature of high school commencement speeches.

Since then, I’ve evolved in how I think of whatif. Every line in this poem is about whatif something goes wrong. But… whatif something goes right? Whatif we take a perspective we haven’t thought of before? Whatif can be a form of curiosity - an opportunity to look at something differently.  The power of whatif is that is can help us lower our defensive armor, and challenge us to explore ideas with an open mind.

Have you ever experienced something like this: Someone asks you to weigh in on a particular issue. You offer a suggestion, and despite the fact it had been invited, it immediately gets shut down. The defenses of the other person go up because they are evaluating your idea against their own perception and expectations. It’s a back and forth until you wear down the edges and compromise.

Whatif…. you framed the suggestion through whatif? “Whatif we tried it this way?” instead of “We should try it this way.” This question shifts the dynamic in the relationship. Now instead of a tennis match, where you’re bouncing ideas back and forth and trying to keep them in bounds, you’re weaving a tapestry of ideas together and the potential for creativity is strong.

I’m going to ask whatif about a series of issues regarding our relationship with work, leadership and teamwork, and thriving professionally.  Whatif by asking whatif… we can spark better conversations, generate more innovative ideas, and navigate our work in ways that enhance our overall well-being?